Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Soloist and Boundaries


This last weekend we exhibited the Muzoracle at the New World Fair in Pasadena. It was a pretty crazy event with lots of scattered energy, especially on Saturday.


I cast for a couple of people that can only be described as energy vampires: they bring all of their drama and baggage to the table, and seem hell-bent for leather on dragging you into it. One person in particular seemed just this side of the nuthouse, barely listening to what I was saying, grabbing cards and dice when he felt like it, and essentially yelling things like, "I WANT ANSWER! SHOULD I DO THIS OR NOT?! SO THIS THING DOESN'T WORK FOR FUTURE, ONLY FOR PRESENT AND PAST?! AAARGH! I TAKE OTHER CARD! I'M A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON!" Oy, it was exhausting. By the time the day was done, I'd have rather ate from the catbox than do another casting. "I'm just the piano player, dammit!" I'm thinking. "Leave me alone!"


At the day's very close I had one more casting, and it was with another intuitive reader -- and she was present, immediate, and grounded as can be. Hallelujah! She gave me some very valuable tips -- stuff I'd heard about, but had no practical experience with. Most helpful was her advice on maintaining boundaries, about not making other people's stuff yours; and also about maintaining a certain authority while casting. Yes, the authority in terms of meaning belongs to the querent – but the form and flow of the casting is my job, and it is not up for grabs.

The next morning, while sitting at the booth before the show began, I cast for myself regarding the day ahead. The axis of the casting was the Soloist of Strings crossing a Perfect Fifth of Strings over the scalepoint of so: Initiative and Autonomy in the Realm of Feeling at the point of Challenge. It couldn't have been more clear: take charge of your feelings by remaining autonomous. Shortly thereafter I cast for my partner Hugh, who was also working the booth and was pretty frazzled himself. Two of the cards in his five-position spread were also Soloists: the Soloist of Woodwinds and the Soloist of Percussion.

In the Muzoracle literature, the Soloist is described as " autonomous, independent, a loner, a maverick, a star". The notion of boundaries is also implied: that which is self-contained has borders. Returning to this idea as Sunday ran its course, I saw that, in terms of energy drain, it takes two to tango. Something needy in someone else wants my support; something needy in me wants to please them, and we are drawn to each other like magnets. If I wish to avoid vampires, perhaps I should show a little less neck.

The scalepoint of so refers to broad challenges, to "life-lesson" kinds of challenges. The implications of the axis in my casting reach beyond the issues directly at hand, and beg deeper exploration of the Soloist within. When are our boundaries enforced, and why? When are they nonexistent, and why? What exactly is "autonomy", and what in us desires it? What is a "star", and who wants to be one? 

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